The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk toGod.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.Next stop was in Exeter ... There, in theCathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Plymouth and he asked a nearby Vicar what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.'O.K., thank you ma'am, ' said the American.He then travelled to Torquay, Paignton, Exmouth,Tiverton and Brixham. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leavingDevon decided to travel to Cornwall to see if theCornish had the same phone.He arrived in Truro, and again, in the Cathedral, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'The American was surprised so he asked the Bishop about the sign.. " Oh, yes, I remember that," I reply.Mum continues, "One night, after finding out about another woman I'd been with, he beat me severely, then threatened to kill me."I say, "Yes, I'll never forget that night!" He grabbed a knife and came at me. To protect me, and you, I panicked and projected my fingers into his chest and squeezed his aorta hard. He collapsed immediately, and I also had to sit. To avoid passing out myself, I released it from time to time, so that I had some blood flow."As you know, he had had a heart attack a few months earlier, so he was weaker. I played him until he passed out. I kept squeezing until I went unconscious, then of course my grip was released. What I had done was enough to stop his heart." Mum stops talking.I stare at her, letting all of her story run through me. "Oh my god, Mum. You killed him!" Yes, I did. But it was self-defence, and to keep him from hurting you as well." Wow, I get that, I remember the night. I don't blame you at all. I always.
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